I was just going to leisurely post this article on here and not write much else. However, I've got so many feelings running through my mind, I feel it necessary to release some of them here. It's gonna be all over the place, so just deal with some stream of consciousness type of writing.
The irony in being on the cover of this magazine isn't lost on me...
Much has been spoken to me already today about this insightful article in New York Magazine. It's in regards to Bravo Network's reality show contestants and their lives after their 15 minutes of fame. After reading this piece, I took more time than usual today to reflect on all the beautiful things that I have in my life, as opposed to all the things that I don't have. I really feel that most of the designers I'm close with are doing very well in the advent of being on the show. But I can also sympathize for those that are not doing as well. Why it takes hearing about someone else's misfortune to remind you of your own vulnerabilities?
Building both a reputation and a business is, in a nutshell, what has occupied my time since Project Runway. I've achieve a great deal of success and I've cultivated professional freedom and leverage through my exposure and celebrity. Having taken the risk to participate in the show allowed me to partake in many opportunities I would likely not have had. Maybe some have changed their minds about the decision they'd made by going on the show. For me, no question, I would do it all again, no regrets! There's always going to be a downside to everything. Even at my favorite work place experience there were a few assholes I had to deal with. That's how it goes!
My life is no fantasy, but it is also plenty dislocated from reality- that I can tell the "Before" from the "After."
I struggle still to this day with things. I probably will struggle in some way all my life!
Staying true to myself, only taking on projects that inspire me, and going to bed happy have been major guidelines for my life after the show. Others might have a completely different agenda. Cool, whatever floats your boat. Sure, it's in my nature to never be satisfied, to never be content, but I also know that anything worth having the right way, is worth waiting for the time it takes to make it happen as well. It's a constant see-saw in my brain weighing out my own effectiveness. I also know that my plans and ambitions are no small feat, but I can't help but push myself.
I'm my own worst critic. So regardless of how much I've accomplished thus far, I feel like I've done nothing yet.
It's only knowing where I've come from and what I've achieved in my life that is comforting when I'm speeding through my days.
Dealing with so many new variables as well as old habits that I'm trying to decipher - keeps me distracted and at the same time focused.
Evolving involves forgetting as well as remembering, for me at least- personally and professionally. You must accept the bad with the good, and you must know the grotesque in order to know true beauty... Why would Project Runway be any different?
I never imagined anything would come any easier from my experience on Project Runway. I never have any preconceived ideas of what tomorrow will bring and I'm still excited about the same things I've been excited about since I was a child. I'm truly grateful to have had the experience in my life. That experience and every one that came before it, and every one that will come after it will be the accumulation of ideas and feelings and actions that will illustrate my journey on this Earth. Life is a series of ups and downs. Making the effort and being consistent are keys to becoming a success.
I wish all the best to any and every one of the past contestants who've been through this or similar experiences. Although I don't consider every one I've meet through my experience to be a friend, by no means do I consider them an enemy. I would undoubtedly give assistance to any one of them who asked it of me. I can also understand that it might be frustrating to be anyone else but me from my season of Project Runway- I don't think I need to apologize to anyone for that, but if it helps- I'm sorry.
Everyone will find their way, eventually, as long as they persevere. People will develop differently and at their own pace. I would never be so ignorant as to count anyone out. Possibilities and opportunities are endless. Decide what your goals are and what will make you the happiest, and take steps in that direction. Advice that helps me daily, is honestly the only advice I'd like to give regarding being a more effective human being, and it is the proverb that says: GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES. Pretty simple...
You don't need permission from anyone to continue living your dreams. Just be proactive about your career. In the same respect,
NO ONE OWES YOU ANYTHING. Find happiness in the little things when you become frustrated in life. Never take what people say negatively about you to heart. People who make a career out of that are really just envious and secretly wish they had talent. Of all the anonymous hate mail I've received never once has someone confronted me in person. That's just the downside of human nature.
DO NOT GIVE IN TO DEFEAT. Give yourself time, but never quit! Make yourself happy. KNOW YOUR WORTH. Growth takes time. Your agenda is the most important agenda. Surround yourself with visual stimulation and objects of fantasy.
THE END WILL JUSTIFY THE MEANS.
I learned so much the past 3 years that has enriched my life. I'm happy to have had a moment to type these random thoughts out. I've found little time to document and blog about all the events and work that I'm doing. Somethings got to give... so I'll write again when I can.
I consider myself very fortunate to be where I am in my life right now. I've merely just begun to achieve some of the dreams that I've imagined for myself. My life since the end of Project Runway 2 hasn't slowed down one bit. I know that technically my "15 minutes" started over 2 years ago, but approaching the anniversary of my 33rd year on this planet, my fame is only approaching it's first 30 second mark! The love I receive on a daily basis is overwhelming. I'm forever creating and immersing myself in fulfilling projects. There's a connection to everything I do- Fashion, Music, Film. (It's funny how people want to tell you what you can and can't do. )
It never gets old to hear people rooting for me. (It's something I wish people did for each other more often) In closing, I'd just like to say sure, I've got miles to go before I sleep, but I'm happy, I'm inspired, I'm in love, and every day that I wake up excited to pursue my dreams, I'm SUCCESSFUL!
Here's a link
All the best!
Much Love and Warmest Regards,